On Stage

– I wonder, if you don’t struggle a bit to put something together when you are tasked to teach or preach, if you should be preaching.  Things can flow very naturally when the message is from the Holy Spirit, but I am talking about the risk of being a pro in your own ability and having the message ‘in the bag’.  A person with the ability can successfully entertain the crowd and massage his own ego without being sensitive to the Spirit’s leading for the situation.  Does it inherently inhibit the Spirit to have a well-tuned worship and teaching time?  I don’t think it does, but having the system in place can create the opportunity for the machine to go on after the heart has drifted away.

– Where am I at?  Do I have a surplus to bring to the table, or am I just piecing together a teaching in order to fill the schedule?  Am I covertly trying to bolster my own ego?  By the way, this is not a conscious act, instead it is a freeze-fight-flight anxiety response to defend myself from what my unconscious perceives as a threat.  Stepping into speaking and teaching roles has caused me to face these feelings in new ways and with new intensity.

– Two other thoughts I am entertaining:

There is a difference between being blessed to do preaching or teaching ministry work, versus being institutionally subsidized to do preaching and teaching ministry work.  There is also a difference between being annointed for a ministry, versus gaining the credentials to be an officer of an ecclesiastical organization.