Got to give credit where credit is due. Not long ago, I met a guy at a church event, and we started talking about writing and blogging, and that’s how I landed on his page “Authentic Christian Men” on Facebook. The bulk of this writing originated as commentary that I offered on one of his posts. It was one of his more recent posts at the time, regarding vulnerability. It’s a bit of a buzzword in some circles, and, I feel like everybody has something a little bit different in mind when they use it. This is my attempt to say something of my own about it, whatever it means.
I think that one potential meaning of ‘being vulnerable’ is ‘not being so guarded that you are emotionally unavailable to other people.’
There are differences between translations in how this reads, but Proverbs 25:28 says,
“A man who does not control his temper is like a city whose wall is broken down.”
I think the broken down wall is most likely a metaphor for the problems created by acting out of such impulse. But I’m also thinking about it this way: the man’s rages are the result of his inner brokenness. His rage indicates a driving need to protect or defend himself. His rage betrays the truth; he is weak like a city with a broken down wall.
I say all of that only to ask the question, what deep hurts and insecurites might I be trying to defend against or protect myself from, and, how does that coping process affect the quality of my relationships with other people?
I would describe healthy vulnerability as the relational availability you develop when you are free from the need to maintain so many walls around your soul.