I will probably be editing and adding things to this post very soon, but I wanted to start putting my thoughts out there regarding this question:
What has changed in me since I have gotten into a healthy, committed, romantic relationship?
During my years of being single, I became fascinated with the question, ‘How does a committed romantic relationship affect a person psychologically and/or spiritually?’ What does it mean, personally?
This is how I have been changed, going from a 31 year old bachelor to engaged man in a little over two months:
-An overarching theme is that my heart has softened. I genuinely care more and I am more emotionally expressive. Not just toward my mate, but toward everybody. One thing I noticed recently is that I find myself wanting to touch a person’s arm or shoulder when making an important point, which is way different than how I was before. Also, early in the relationship, I commented that I had cried more in the last two weeks than I had in the previous two years. No exaggeration.
-I have become way more confident overall, and I have a hypothesis about why: because I have laid bare every private part of my soul to my mate, and she has seen it all and still accepted and loved me, I feel human, I feel accepted, I feel safe, I feel redeemed, and I feel free. I have submitted myself to death via full personal disclosure, and a resurrection has occurred via her full love and acceptance. I would say that the relationship has cultivated my soul to more deeply receive truths of the Spirit.
-The greater level of personal connection has given me the leverage to get free from some lesser emotional crutches.
For more perspective, check out:
Andrew K. Banks 